Anticipation

Anticipation is a feeling that can be fun to have or it can be dreadful to experience. Sometimes it can be a little bit of both. Knowing of our impending move across country fills me with anticipation.

First, there is the fact that I have less than two weeks to get everything ready for the move. I am still waiting for the relocation specialists to give us appointments. I expect that to happen today but one never knows what new delay can happen. I had expected to have that schedule two days ago.

Next, there is money of course. We do have the luxury of the company paying the moving bills so there is that at least. We still have to cover gas and at least one overnight but most likely two overnight stays in hotels to remain sane. I think it is wise to feed the vehicle we drive as well. Have you noticed gas prices lately? We have to feed ourselves and the pets traveling with us and adhere to a healthy diet. That will be fun. We are however, down to the wire in our bank account. We have enough to get there and to survive on but we will be very tight for about two months. It has been a long financial drought for us and all of our resources are tapped out. This job could not have come at a better time.

We have too much stuff. I want to rid myself of most of it. I feel it ties me down. To help address the money issue I will be taking advantage of a storage facility yard sale where we have much of our extraneous stuff stored. Granted much of this is stored because we have not lived in our own place for nearly two years now. Right after my husband was laid off from his job we moved in with our adult daughter. She had just purchased a house and made room for us in it. We stored about 70% of our things thinking it would just be a few months before finding another job. This turned into two years. Now I get to go through it all. Much of it we can sell and if I end the day with a few more dollars for the trip and a lot less stuff to ship I will be a happy woman. I just am not looking forward to being in the heat all day selling but it may be worth it.

Then, there is the eating healthy thing on the road. Can it be done? I am beginning to realize I have very odd eating habits. I may even have a borderline eating disorder. I would rather just have a protein drink that I have measured out and know exactly how many grams of protein and how many calories are in it, than to eat something at a restaurant.  I am picky about that protein drink too. It may be difficult to do this on the road. For three days I have agreed to try to eat real food. This scares the crap out of me. I will be stuck in a car all day long with 15 minute breaks every two hours to walk the Chihuahuas. Will this give me enough exercise to prevent gaining ten pounds? Yikes. I won’t have access to my scale either. Oh well I do know it will not kill me but again YIKES!!!!!!

I know this is going to happen; I just am not sure how it is going to happen. I can plan furiously but nothing ever quite sticks to the plan. I have books to listen to on the road. I even downloaded a couple of audiobooks my husband will enjoy. So we should be able to enjoy the trip even when we run out of things to discuss or are out of radio range. I will be relieved to get to the other side of this anticipation experience. Who wouldn't?

Food? What Food? I Have to Eat food?

I am not sure I would qualify as a Bariatric Bad Girl or not but since the ones I know best are asking us long timers to blog a typical day of eating I thought why not?

I should not be held up as an example of what is proper in the eating department I am not excited by food. I don’t experiment with recipes and I am not creative in the kitchen. Other than watching Alton Brown I hate cooking shows on TV.

My day starts at around 5:30 to 6 am. I have 12 ounces of a warm protein drink I make every morning before I eat or drink anything else. I also have my supplements at this time. This drink is the only creation in the kitchen I have ever come up with and I have tweaked it to perfection for my taste. I heat up 12 ounces of nonfat milk with a splash of SF vanilla syrup in the microwave. This has 12 grams of protein. After getting it to around 125 degrees, I stir in 3 or 4 packets of PurVia and two tablespoons of unsweetened cocoa. I stir in one scoop of Unjury unflavored protein (20 grams protein). I top this off with canned whipped cream. This comes to under 250 calories. I am good to go with this for about 2 to 2.5 hours.

Between 7:30 and 8:30, I have breakfast and I make sure it is solid food even if I don’t feel like it. I always have one egg either scrambled or boiled. With this, I will have a piece of sausage or two slices of bacon. If that’s not available then the egg has to do.

Between 10 and 11 am, I will have a piece of fruit such as a cup of grapefruit or a banana. With it I will have either a RTD Isopure plus zero carb drink or a piece of cheese.

Around 1:30 or 2:00 I have another cocoa drink.

Around 4 pm I will have a V8 juice or an avocado. I may also have some cheese.

More often than not, I do not really eat any dinner. But, when I can I will have a piece of steak, as much as I can comfortably eat at around 6 to 7 pm. I may have a little veggie and rice with it. Or, maybe I have some chili if I have it available. But, I have to cook that and I don’t cook much. However, usually I just have another protein drink (yep the cocoa again). I make sure I have a minimum of 100 grams of protein a day.

Now to keep this honest and real, I have to let you know I am not compliant with all the rules. I will eat candy but pay for it so I don’t do it often. I will eat all kinds of treats but only small amounts lest there be a crash in my blood sugars. I drink those 5 hour energy drink things several times a week but no more than one in a day. I will buy a coke from time to time and sip from it a few ounces at a time over a week until it’s gone. (That would be a 20 ounce size and not diet.) I have given up biscuits completely because they aren’t worth the crappy feeling I get from them and other bread. I will eat crackers with cheese from time to time and I keep an emergency stash of peanut butter crackers around at all times but don’t snack on them because they are boring. They do serve a purpose though when my blood sugar tanks below 60. I am a total sucker for birthday cake and cupcakes with the piled up frosting and will eat them if they are around. I do have to deal with the consequences though and just accept it and eat it anyway. I will eat a little bit of brownie when my husband or kids make them but I don’t get too excited by them and find I can ignore them usually after a small square.

I do not choose to revolve my life around food and try to just eat what I have too to stay alive. Sugar was always my downfall and now still is but in a different way. Like many others, I have gone from being a Type II diabetic to being somewhat hypoglycemic. I eat to prevent to hypoglycemic feeling. If that didn’t happen I would not care to eat that much. As long as sugary foods are out of sight, I don’t think about having them. If they are around I will want to eat at least a little of it. My day is full of school, my dogs and homework. Food has become something I need but don’t really think about until I need it for the most part. It’s just the way I am. I don’t know what normal is but it is my new normal.