Plans and Reality

Now that I am aware of how this move from North Carolina to New Mexico is going to go I at least can breathe a little easier and get on with it. It’s not perfect how we have to do it, but it will work. Seems I am to stay behind a month (approximately two pay periods) to take care of the moving details. Terry will go ahead and report for work on his scheduled day of June 13. He will have to make the drive alone but he will have ample time to get there leaving June 8^th or 9^th.  He will have to tough it out in temporary housing.

I will be renting a PODS unit and loading it up on this end myself. The PODS people will pick the POD up, transport it to NM, and store it until we have picked out and acquired housing. I will have a garage sale on June 4^th and hope to rid myself of a lot of clutter not needed. Then after that I will give anything I did not want to keep to Goodwill or Salvation Army. I am excited about having an opportunity (excuse) to purge. Even though the unit is a pretty good size (16’ by 8’ by 8’) It would not hold everything and I do not want to double the cost. In the past we have made moves where the company has arranged for and paid the movers for us. This was not a great thing to do because we dragged way too much stuff around the country. Now we have to budget and many things are just no longer needed. Of course I want to keep things like photos that are not yet scanned into digital format (a project that is worth taking on but will have to wait for after I get there). Now that we get to officially consider ourselves empty nesters (again) we do not need two thirds of what we have for our kitchen. We don’t need extra beds and furniture and I do hope to move into a smaller and easier to take care of place. More importantly I want a place that comfortably on fits two. Our children are all adults and though I adore each and every one of them I don’t really want to live with them anymore. Plus, they don’t need to live with parents and have parents disturbing there lifestyles. It isn’t right.

I am excited about the changes in our life. I get to explore a whole new part of the country and in doing so I will have much more to write about. I can’t complain about having income again either.

Daughterhood and Motherhood

I am a daughter. My own mother is not a person I want to be around for very terrible personal reasons that no one wants to hear about. Suffice it to say I did not learn how to be a mommy from her. I do have a non biological Mom. We have not always gotten along but I did learn more about being true to one's self from her than from my own parents. I think she may have even given me the ability to be a very independent person in a way. I did get a lot from her and I am not even sure she realizes it. I have held her at a very long distance for a good many years but in a serious time of crisis many years ago she did step up and help. For that I am grateful to her. Then another person who I am not close too but wish I could have been is my late father's widow. She actually was a good step-mom to my youngest brother and I know she is special to him. When she came into the picture though I was a confused teenager and I don't think I was nice to her. Of course as a teen you don't have a real picture of the world yet though you believe that you do. I was full of opinions and beliefs that I no longer hold as life has taught me differently. And then there is my Grandmother. She was the dominant mother in my life and many of the traits I still display are due to her. I would love to believe I have the best of all three of these women and none of the less desirable traits. Maybe my flaws come from my biological mother. I know I can't be perfect but I think my best stuff is from the moms who really cared about me.
I have birthed six children and no two of them are even a bit alike. They survived my mothering somehow and are all healthy and for the most part thriving adults. Two of them have even given me lovely grandchildren. As a Mom I knew more about what not to do than about what to do. Some of the ways I chose to raise my babies came straight from my heart. I was a hands on baby cuddler. It was the best part of mothering and I enjoyed it the most. They all grew out of it though and became little people and as they grew they at varying degrees began to slip from my hugs and reach out to the world without me. I let them. Sometimes I chose to let them and other times it was out of my control completely. Either way they all found a sense of themselves and found who they were. They are all beautiful people and the ones with kids are developing new beautiful people. What more can a Mom expect from them right?